– Hi! – Hi man! – Are you going to pub tonight? – Sure. Of course! Oh no! Not tonight. My wife has a day off and I have to do babysitting. Babysitting? Oh, man. What now? I don’t know. Never mind. I got a plan! I will bring an excellent war movie.
We put the children to bed and then we can watch it. Ok, sounds good for me. Excellent! I prepare beer. Ok man. Got a deal. – Sugar? – Yes please. Hey man, don’t worry, this babysitting is easy. I have a plan.
But first tell me… how long is the respawn? There is no respawn. – And were is the off zone? – There is no off zone. – FPS limit? – No guns allowed. Safety glasses only. Oh shit! Plan B. You will be dropped here, meanwhile I prepare bathroom here in sector 6.
You must tidy up the sector D1. When I finish with bathroom I will meet you here in B2 and then we will go together to B6. And we are done. Sounds good to me. Let’s do it! Move it on! This is bravo two seven, radio check over.
This is bravo two seven. – This is Alfa, HQ. What’s your status? – I am in position. Eyes on horizon. There are four children on twelve o’clock, not on 3 o’clock, wait a minute. Quarter past six o’clock, no, they are everywhere! You know, what to do! Do it now! Go! – Hello my children! – Daddy! Play with us! I repeat, this is Bravo Two Seven, I need reinforcement.
.. I don’t understand. You know, these guys who come when everybody is done. You mean reinforcements? I am on my way! Just hold the position. Do you copy? I’ll try. This is Alfa, what’s your status? I need support.
I don’t feel comfortable. You mean comfortable? It depends of circumstances. Ah, circumstances… nice English. Cover me! Children to me! Fire in a hole! Chocolate! Ok, it’s time to go to bed! Where are they? I don’t know.
They are playing hide and seek. Carefully, they can be anywhere. Hit! Hit! Medic! There is no respawn! I’ll give you a shot. Here! Ok children. When you go to bed, we will have a surprise for you. Yes, I will tell you a fairytale.
But first tidy up! Yes, fairytale! Excellent! And now, change your uniforms. There is a nappy on the carpet. Carefully, it can be booby-trap. Poopy-trap deactivated. Go go go! Daddy, I am done. Ok, let’s go to bed.
And now, it’s time for fairytale. Once upon a time, in the woods there was an old sniper. He was so old, that he became a witch. He lived in old house, which was made from… You know this sweet stuff.
Like honey, no… Bravo, sorry Alfa, this is Bravo, what is the witch’s house made of? – Which house? – Witch’s house. – Of gingerbread. And then John took his AK 47 and Mary took her MP5 and then… .
..and forever and ever. Perimeter secured. Awaiting further instructions. Let’s watch. Beer is ready. Alfa do you copy? Alfa?